I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
