I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
