Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
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Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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