East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
