i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
