In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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