Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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