? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
