The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize