I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
