is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
