Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
