Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
