Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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