Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
