I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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