: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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