it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
