i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
