Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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