Everything about him screamed your future.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
