Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
