Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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