I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
