i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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