i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize