you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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