so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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