i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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