Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
