I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
