It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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