He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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