It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
