hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
