wrigley field is MILF paradise
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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