It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
