dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
