I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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