You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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