just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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