I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
only you would photoshop your dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The Olympian is in my bed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
