I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this will be a night to untag.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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