I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
