i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
