kristin has been a bad kristin
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
