I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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