Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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