so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
