I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
