I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize