At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
