Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
