This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
