it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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