I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
