I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
