i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
