If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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