Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
