can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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