i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
