woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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