I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
