last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
