I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize