FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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