bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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