I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
